Sandra

Sandra first met her husband Mike while she was a waitress in a Thai restaurant.  At first, he came into the restaurant only occasionally, and she always managed to wait on his table.  He was young, handsome, charming, and very comfortable with American culture.  After all, he had been born and raised here, but even so, he spoke perfect Thai.  They began dating.  He took her away from the drab world of waitressing in a neighborhood restaurant and showed her a life that young American couples can enjoy.  She met his family and friends, all good people.  After a few months of dating, Mike asked Sandra to marry him, promising to support her in all her dreams.  Sandra was thrilled with the prospects of her new life with the man she loved. 

Their wedding was small.  Sandra had no family in the area who could attend.  Mike invited only his immediate family.  They talked about having children and buying a home.  They enjoyed their time together.  Sandra continued to work while they saved up money for a home.  Gradually, however, it seemed that Mike’s behavior began to change.  He began to belittle Sandra’s appearance, her lack of education, and her heavily accented English.  The belittling evolved into hurtful insults about her intelligence and the origins of her family.  Soon after their first child was born, Mike ran Sandra and the baby out of the house during a fight. 

A year later, Mike and Sandra reunited for their son.  She became pregnant.  He did not allow them to go outside while he was not home, or even open up the curtains. He did not permit Sandra any access to a bank account-she had to live off what cash he gave her.  His drinking got worse and his insults escalated into physical threats.  The tension at home was palpable.  When Sandra told him that she was going to leave, Mike threatened to kill himself in front of her and their young son.  Things worsened to the point that Sandra had to seek therapy for depression.

After five years of marriage, Mike declared that he loved someone else.  He abandoned their home, leaving Sandra with two young children.  Now in economic straights, Sandra sought help from community agencies, including American Gateways.  With an American Gateways attorney handling her case, Sandra received her lawful permanent residency.  One of her goals is to get a GED in order to provide a better life for her children.  Her most important goal is to minimize the impact on the children of Mike’s abandonment.